I’m Holding Out for a Hero

An open letter to the Justice League of America.

Dear JLA members,

I am writing on behalf of all residents and visitors of the great state of Hawaii in order to formally request that consideration be given to the fact that we have no assigned superhero based within 2,300 miles of us. Even with super speed that is quite a distance to cover during an emergency.

Are you aware that New York City has more superheroes living in it, than any other metropolitan area? After doing some research I found that: The Avengers, The Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Dr. Strange, Luke Cage, and S.H.I.E.L.D. and a few lesser known superheroes are all based within the five Burroughs that make up New York City.

I believe it is a grave injustice that more densely populated areas in the country have multiple superheroes or teams of superheroes on call, night and day. When it comes to uniting superheroes for a single cause the Justice League of America is the governing body which everyone looks to for answers. The Moon once housed your organization for a time, so obviously population statistics do not play as important a factor as location. Although Hawaii is one of the most geographically isolated places on our planet, at least we are on this planet. Not only that, but we sit in the middle of Australia, Asia and the Americas, so we are centrally located to help Oceania, and four of the continents.

Hawaii has been home to several Gods and Demigods in ancient past, but unfortunately they have not been seen recently. We do have a strong military presence on the island of O’ahu, but we all know how ineffective the military is when it comes to super-villains and their intense battles with superheroes.

I feel the need to share with you my suggestions for whom you should consider for this crucial post. Would I love to have an American icon out here like Superman, Batman or Green Lantern? Of course I would, but I understand that Gotham loves Batman and Metropolis will always need their Superman, so I have dug a little deeper to find superheroes who might like a chance to live in paradise as well as help the human race in between sipping mai-tais and judging surf contests.

My first choice is an obvious one: Aquaman. Since we are an archipelago in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, Arthur Curry (aka: Aquaman) seems like the ideal candidate to help protect the Hawaiian islands. He helped found your organization, the Justice League, so he obviously has skills to foster positive relations between people of different backgrounds and cultures (which will be useful out here). As far as his super powers go, he can breath underwater, swim at high speeds, see in near dark conditions, communicate with sea life telepathically and has superhuman strength. Aquaman’s one weakness is that he loses strength when he is out of the water for any length of time. Fortunately, we have plenty of water around us to keep him hydrated.

Katat Hol, also known as Hawkman, is another excellent candidate for the Hawaii hero position. Being from the planet Thanagar, Hawkman would fit in well with the other millions of visitors that come to Hawaii. Originally a policeman on his home planet, Hawkman came to Earth to prevent crime. His super-human strength, ability to endure electricity, communicate with birds telepathically, enhanced vision and hearing are all great features to be admired, and he is married to Shayera Thal, Hawkgirl, so naturally we would get a two-fer in the superhero department. My only concern is that he uses a hawk-suit to fly and is extremely dependent on his alien metal (Nth metal) which is found in his suit and weapons. I do not think we have any Nth metal here in Hawaii, but maybe he can substitute pineapple or rainbows to power his suit and/or weapons.

The Martian Manhunter, J’onn J’onzz, seems to have it all; superhuman strength, speed, senses, mentality and endurance, shapeshifting, telekinesis, healing factor, invisibility, flight and invulnerability. He helped found the Justice League and he’s a Martian, so he’s got all his relationship challenges covered. The only real weakness I can find is his name…both of them.

All I ask is that you consider having one or two superheroes change their base of operations to one of our beautiful tropical islands. Time is of the essence, because it is only a matter of time before a super-villain will attempt to build their evil lair in one of our volcanoes.

Thank you for your time and attention in this matter.
Sincerely,

Vincent Lorusso

Vincent Lorusso Written by:

A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives. - Jackie Robinson

One Comment

  1. Robert
    July 20, 2012
    Reply

    Love this post. Aquaman IS the obvious choice. Hawkman would look funnier cruising in Kihei,like the triangle, than Aquaman. Jon Jonzz? No. I know that guy and he’s a dick when he’s drunk.
    Anywho, Aquaman would need a mate. He can’t be Aquaman forever right? He needs some offspring. How did he get his power anyway? Who could you hook up Aquaman with? Talk amongst yourselves. How about a Hawaiian FEMALE super hero? Pele?!?! That way their offspring would be able to do water AND land!!! She would be hot too. No pun intended. AND, he or she could get into Kamehameha schools!!!! Powerful and well educated. Also, the offspring would be a cute hapa kid. Aquaman is kind of pale so the darker skin would help with sunburns. My brain hurts.

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